Petter Northug facts
Info
During the winter Olympics 2010 Petter Northug was requested to join Chuck Norris and Lars Monsen in the "world's top three totally unbeatable and most amazing persons". They all three discussed it over a camp fire in the Vancouver woods. No one know what was said, but Northug left to finish the 50km race he was in the middle of and he won, looking stronger than ever before. The rumours say that he got a glimpse of the Norris/Monsen code.
1.
Petter Northug does not sleep, he waits.. For his competitors to get a headstart.
2.
When Usain Bolt finished after setting the 100m world record, Petter Northug was already at the finishline boasting.
3.
Petter Northug was the reason for Michael Schumaker's decision to quit formula 1. He couldn't handle the pressure.
4.
There is no excitement left in the sport of skiing. Only finishlines that Petter Northug has already crossed first.
5.
Petter Northug was originaly a juniorchampion in biathlon, but was refused further competition as he insisted on taking all his competitors penalties i addition to his own.
6.
In advance of the 50km crosscountry in Sapporo, Petter Northug placed orienteering puzzles around the course. (These were to be solved by himself during the race, accordingly to make the race more exciting for the audience).
7.
Petter Northug always com first. The only one to contradict this statement is his current girlfriend Rachel Nordtømme.
8.
When Chuck Norris is in a hurry he calls Petter Northug.
9.
Scientists finally agree. After the Vancouver Olympics they've proven the fact that time actually slows down when Petter Northug has hit the course.
10.
One time when Lars monsen and Chuck Norris met in a forest, Lars Monsen shoutet so loudly that Chuck Norris turned ginger.. Petter Northug – obviously - had already finished.
11.
The competitors stand still when Petter Northug sprints.
12.
During the skiteam-relay on Beitostølen Petter Northug finished first, just in time to watch Russia's Ilja Tsjerousov take second place on TV at home. He claimed the cause of this success originated from the fact that he took on all the laps himself.
13.
Petter Northug has already finished all exercises of the 2014 olympics.
14.
Petter Northug has bigger balls than Caster Semanja.
15.
A norwegian broadband provider planned on releasing a new internetpackage called Petter Northug X-treme, but found that it was to fast for the current landline.
16.
TimeWarp tried to make a Petter Northug special, unfortunately the highspeed-cameras couldn't keep up.
17.
Petter Northug was born 9 months prematurely.
18.
Red Bull was developed from the DNA of Petter Northug.
19.
Petter Northug has got more gears the Lance Armstrong's bicycle.
20.
When Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, Petter Northug was already there boasting.
21.
In 2001 Daft Punk nearly got sued by the Norwegian olympic commetee for making a song called: Petter Northug. The complaint was eventually dropped when they changed the name to: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.
22.
Petter Northug is a direct ascendant of Flash Gordon.
23.
What came first; the chicken or the egg? Petter Northug.
24.
Axel Teichmann told german media that the last thing he heard before Northug passed him during the 50km. Crosscountry in Vancouver was: “..heading into warp”.
25.
Petter Northug didn’t show any sympathy for the other Olympic-contestants who were complaining about jetlag. After all, it’s something he has to struggle with himself after every sprint.
26.
One time when Northug was sprinting, the speed was so great that only his shadow remained to boast.
27.
Petter Northug dance if he wants to, and leave alle his competitors behind.
28.
Petter Northug had plans on entering this years Iditarod, but unfortunately he could not find a sledge big enough to carry all the dogs.
29.
It's here: "Northugged"
Definision: To be humiliated or beaten badly.
Example 1. You've been northugged!
Example 2: I just northugged the shit out of you!
Also read "Quotes from a machine"
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